To Whom It May Concern 1

When did it become so easy to give up for someone you cherished so much? Did you really mean what you said or you were just fooling around because what you feel was long dead?

It was late that night when I received an unforeseen message from you. I was busy talking to my roommates when that came in. I have always been that keen when it comes to conversation, may it be light or deep. I read your message and just then, my mind went blank. I could barely move or even talk, all I could feel was my tears streaming down my cheeks like a rain that keeps pouring. You’ve got the wrong recipient, and it’s me, unfortunately. That moment, fate was on my side, rooting for me because he wanted me to get a glimpse about what you’ve been into. He unfolded the truth right before my eyes, with you who keep feeding me with lies.

I tried drowning myself, I drank, but when I’m sober the pain just doubled. I really can’t seem to fathom everything; the reasons, YOUR reasons. Were we not enough? Or were we just too much? I have been waiting for you to talk it out for years now yet you still chose to keep mum about it. Why? Was it that hard opening yourself to us? To me at least? If you’ve done something to be mad about then say so, it’s not like I’m going to hate you for the rest of my life. Who am I to not forgive? I’m just a daughter, I could do nothing about it. But heck, if you really did, I’d rather you to be honest. At least I know I’m not being fooled at, not by my very own father, not by you. You were the only man for me, the only man I look up to since time immemorial. You can’t just ruin it, can you?

You said you cared but you make me feel that you just did that out of guilt. I was seldom wrong about my intuition but I chose to believe in your little charade. You brought out the worst in me, wrecked my world, and left with a casualty, ME.